


Princess Niall and the Gift of True Love

by finkpishnets (orphan_account)



Series: Princess Niall [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, M/M, Multi, Not!Fic, princesses & unicorns, the most ridiculous verse ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-12
Updated: 2012-07-12
Packaged: 2017-11-09 19:59:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/457813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/finkpishnets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which there is a magic, boy-giving bag, ridiculous quests, and a happy ending. Not!Fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Princess Niall and the Gift of True Love

**Author's Note:**

> I really wasn't going to post this verse on A03 because it is the most ridiculous thing I have ever written, but I can't stop thinking about other stories for it, so. Yeah. I've had to admit to myself that I'm really rather fond of it. Inspired by [this](http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/unseen_bobbi/tumblr_lhnl5g6Plh1qg3mh8o1_500.jpg) photo. I'M SO SORRY.

So Princess Niall lives in happy kingdom with his parents and his siblings, and life is pretty good except that every year knights come to the palace to fight for his hand in marriage only most of them are rubbish at it and Princess Niall would rather hang out with the stable boys anyway.

And then he gets given a _present_ from a far off land and each time he opens it a different boy climbs out.

Zayn the stable boy thinks it's a bit suspicious but Niall thinks it's fantastic because now he has new, shiny people to play with. Matt and Aiden, the two knights who spend more time giggling than jousting have started hanging out with Zayn and Princess Niall too, and they think it's kind of cool that Niall's been given a magic present.

Only then things get _complicated_ because three very different boys have climbed out of the bag and he has to choose and it's sad –

("Why do you have to choose?" Aiden asks, dropping his armour to the floor. Zayn cringes when the noise startles the horses.

"Because I _do_." Niall says. "It's what people have to do in these kinds of situations.”

"How many people do you know who've been in this kind of situation?" Matt asks, raising an eyebrow.)

\-- and Niall likes Liam and Louis _and_ Harry and he doesn't want two of them to disappear.

And so he decides that the _logical_ thing to do is to send them all on a quest and whoever completes it first will be his new suitor. But, as Zayn points out, how will he know who's completed the task first if he doesn't go with them? So Liam and Louis and Harry and Niall and Zayn (because he doesn't trust Niall to be left alone) and Matt and Aiden (because they're bored and an adventure sounds kind of cool) set off away from the palace and to lands Far Away.

Princess Niall thinks this is actually a lot of fun - love problems be damned - and he makes up songs as they ride their horses down unfamiliar paths, and it's nice because they can all sing. Niall thinks that maybe only evil people can't sing (his stepmother, case in point) so it's nice to know that none of his new friends are evil, and maybe they could enter the town fete next year as a _group_ of some sort. He's happily thinking about what outfits they could wear when they meet the dragon.

"Oh," he says, "you're a dragon."

"Yes," the dragon says, "and you're a princess. I like your tiara."

"Should we be, uh, _at arms_ or something?" Aiden mutters to Matt and Matt shrugs as if to say _why are you asking me?_

"No need for that," the dragon says, overhearing. "I don't want to hurt you or anything. Though, maybe you could do me a favour?"

"Oh," Niall says, "maybe! We're on a _quest_ you see - well, Liam, Louis and Harry are - and I haven't really been able to think of any _questy_ things."

The dragon nods sagely. "Quests are very hard to decide on, it's true."

Niall smiles; it's nice that someone understands his plight. Zayn had just told him he was an idiot.

"What's your request?" Zayn asks and Niall frowns at him.

" _I'm_ the princess," he says, "I'm supposed to ask that.”

"Right," Zayn says, rolling his eyes, "sorry, go ahead."

Niall nods. "What's your request?" he repeats and the dragon sighs.

"There's a unicorn to the North," he says, "and he has something of mine but he refuses to give it back."

"Aren't unicorns meant to be, uh, _innocent_?" Matt asks, and the dragon scoffs.

" _Please_ ," he says, "it's only the humans that go _near_ them that have to be innocent. The unicorns themselves are little brats."

"At least one of you _is_ an innocent, right?" the dragon continues, and Matt and Aiden shift their gaze away as Zayn shakes his head.

"Well," Niall says, " _I_ am, but it's not my quest. Boys?"

Liam cringes and Louis looks a little sheepish. "Sorry," he says, and Niall pouts.

"Well," he says, "that's no good. Harry?"

"Innocent about what?" Harry asks, and the dragon nods approvingly.

"Good good," he says. "So, that's one quest down!"

"We'll return this way when the quest is over and return to you what's been lost," Niall says importantly and the dragon smiles.

"Wonderful," he says, "and good luck to you all."

And so they head North where the trees are closer together and fairies flutter around them, giggling in their ears and pulling at their hair. Niall thinks it's rather sweet in a ticklish way until one of them tried to steal his tiara and then threatens to catch them all with a net. They stay out of their way after that.

"So," Liam says, pulling his horse close to Niall's, "uh, sorry about the whole 'innocent' thing."

"Oh," Niall says, "that's okay. I don't mind. It's rather nice that you have experience. I've always felt it would be kind of awkward if at least one person didn't."

Liam blinks. "Yeah?" he says. "That's good."

Louis' riding behind them and speaks up as they take a fork in the road. "Liam definitely has experience," he says, and Liam glares at him.

"Well, you must have too," Niall points out, and Louis grins.

"Yeah," he says, "a little."

Matt and Aiden are further up the road, heads bent close together, but Niall can hardly make them out against the encroaching darkness.

"We should stop for the night," Zayn says, vocalising Niall's thoughts, and Niall nods approvingly and then says "Uh, _where_ are we going to stop?"

"Here I guess," Zayn says, dismounting his horse and wandering over to a patch of grass off of the path.

"... _outside?_ " Niall says, shocked.

"Yes," Zayn says, and then: "think of it as a romantic adventure. You can fall asleep under the stars with, uh, your potential suitors. Or something."

"Oh," Niall says, "you're right. That sounds nice."

"I like the stars," Harry says, smile bright and pretty, and Niall nods.

"Me too," he says, "come on, let's see which ones we can find!"

Zayn passes him the blankets from the back of the horses (Niall had wondered why they'd been there) and Harry cuddles up against Niall's side. It's very nice, and Niall thinks it's totally okay that he tangles their fingers together because he's a _princess_ and princesses can do what they like.

There's a shadow and Niall looks up to find Liam and Louis huddled a little uncertainly nearby, and, well, he can't have that so he waves a hand until they come over and drop down on his other side.

"Hi," Louis says with a grin that's just a little too big to be real.

"Hi," Harry says, and then: "is the moon full do you think? I can't tell."

"No," Liam says, "tomorrow it'll be full."

Harry nods and Niall smiles at Liam. "It's cool that you know that," he says, and Liam smiles gently.

"Liam knows a lot of stuff," Louis says fondly and Liam blushes.

"Oh," Niall says, and then frowns. "Do you two know each other then?"

Niall thinks Liam's blush deepens a little but it's too dark for him to really tell.

"Sure," Louis says, "and we know Harry too."

Niall blinks. "You _all_ know each other?"

Harry nods. "Louis was my first boyfriend," he says, "kind of. I was eight and he was ten and we used to go swimming in the lake by my house, and then he moved away and I could only visit him sometimes in the summer."

"Harry was heartbroken," Louis says, "when he came to stay and I introduced him to Liam. To be fair, by that point I was fifteen and much more interested in sneaking a snog behind the stables than swimming. Unless it was skinny dipping."

"But you don't hate him?" Niall says, turning to look at Harry.

Harry looks surprised. "No," he says, "why would I hate him? He's _Louis_."

He says it like it makes perfect sense and Niall's not one to disagree with something that makes perfect sense so he nods.

"Okay," he says. He faces Liam. "So are you two boyfriends then?"

"Oh no," Louis interrupts. "Liam's much too smart for me."

"Shut up," Liam says, rolling his eyes, and it sounds like something he's said a hundred times before. Niall's not entirely sure why the three of them are _here with him_ if they have each other and he says as much aloud, but the other three just shrug.

"We don't really have each other," Liam says, "not anymore. Not until we came out of your bag anyway." He looks a little sad, and when Niall glances as the other two they're staring at the stars and avoiding each others' eyes.

 

+

 

They set off early the next morning --

(" _What_ ," Niall asks, "is _this?_ "

"It's an omelet," Zayn says, "and you'll eat it and shut up or I'll feed it to the horses instead."

Niall's stomach groans and he pouts until Zayn sighs and explains that it's made of _egg_ and won't kill him. He thinks Zayn mutters _spoilt brat_ under his breath as he turns away but that's okay, he's said worse and he loves Niall anyway.)

The sun is high in the sky and there's a light breeze on the air. It's not far until they reach the North, but Niall doesn't know where they're supposed to find a unicorn and says as much aloud.

"Oh," Aiden says, pausing in trying to push Matt of his horse, "that's easy. Unicorn's live in the Forest of Whores. Everyone knows that."

"The Forest of Whores?" Niall asks, and he's pleased to see that Zayn looks just as disbelieving.

"I know," Matt says, "but he's right. I think it's meant to be a joke. Either that or it's where all the pretty girls go to try and get re-virginised."

"Can you do that?" Liam asks, curiously, and Matt shrugs.

"No idea," he says, "and I don't know why anyone would want try."

"To get a husband," Aiden nods sagely, and Matt looks up in alarm.

"Uh," he says, and Aiden blinks.

"What?"

"Nothing," Matt says, "nothing. So, hey, how about that Camelot jousting team?"

The Forest of Whores does not live up to its name.

"This doesn't live up to its name," Niall says, eyeing the pleasant looking clearing distastefully. He's never met a whore before and he was hoping it would be another thing to add off his list on this adventure. There are butterflies flitting between the trees and the whole place seems to glimmer prettily, and it's very _nice_ and exactly the sort of place you'd expect to find a unicorn but Niall's still a little disappointed.

"So," Matt says, "Harry should probably go find the unicorn, huh?"

"By myself?" Harry asks, looking worried.

"Well," Niall says, "I suppose I could come with you. Not to get in the way of the quest, just to, you know, _watch_."

"Yeah," Harry says, "cool. That's a good idea."

They leave the others unpacking lunch supplies --

("Oh, for fucks sake, has _no one_ seen an asparagus before? I promise, I am _not trying to kill you all._ ")

\-- and head off further into the clearing; Niall can hear the trickling of a stream somewhere close by and birds are singing above their heads, and it's all very serene.

"So," he says when they've been walking for a while, "do you miss him?"

"Who?" Harry asks. "Louis? Sure. And Liam. We don't really talk anymore."

"Why not?" Niall asks, curiously, and Harry shrugs.

"I don't know," he says, "I guess...I think Liam wanted to marry Louis once, but Louis convinced himself that he wasn't good enough for him or something."

"Right," Niall says, "and where do you fit in?"

Harry blinks. "Oh," he says, "I'm in love with them both."

Niall feels kind of sad then, and he's not sure if it's because the three boys seem so _unhappy_ or because he's suddenly not entirely sure where he fits in. Maybe the stupid bag wasn't actually for _him_ at all and now he's just going to end up alone and crying at Zayn about being unloved forever. Again.

"You look sad," Harry says, "what's up?"

"Nothing," Niall says quickly. "Oh look, there's a unicorn!"

The unicorn looks up at them in surprise. "Hello," it says, "wow, are you two really virgins? How the hell did _that_ happen?"

Niall sniffs. "I'm a _princess_ ," he says and the unicorn grins.

"Yeah," it says, "and _trust me_ , princesses are usually the sluttiest of the lot!"

"Hey!" Harry says, jumping to Niall's defence and Niall feels something tighten pleasantly in his chest.

"Okay, okay," the unicorn says, "what's up then? Just want to come give me a stroke? 'Cause I can _definitely_ be down with that."

Niall genuinely didn't know that unicorns could leer. It's kind of disconcerting. "No," he says, and then: "Harry?"

"Oh," Harry says, "right. Uh, so, apparently you took something from a dragon? Anyway, he wants it back and we're here to get it."

The unicorn scoffs. "Does he now? Spineless bastard couldn't come and get it himself, of course."

"Well?" Harry asks. "Will you give it to us?"

The unicorn seems to consider it for a moment.

"Fine, fine," it says, "but only if you do _me_ a favour."

"What kind of favour?" Niall asks. The unicorn smirks.

 

+

 

"We have to _what?_ " Zayn asks incredulously, and Niall waves a hand.

"It shouldn't be _too_ hard."

"Niall-" Zayn says, and Niall interrupts him.

" _Princess_ Niall."

" _Princess Niall_ ," Zayn says, gritting his teeth, "do you have any idea what the Mines of Medusa _are?_ "

Niall blinks. "Well," he says, "I'd assume they were _mines_."

"They are," Liam says, nodding. "But they're said to have been carved out of solid rock by trolls centuries ago to imprison Medusa in her stone form. Like, an extra precaution in case the curse wore off."

"Curses _are_ unreliable," Aiden agrees. "I was cursed into a girl once."

Matt chokes on a mouthful of water.

"It wore off," Aiden says, hurriedly. "Obviously. But, yeah, curses. Unpredictable."

"Right," Liam says, staring at Aiden with a raised eyebrow before shaking his head. "The Mines are also said to be guarded by centaurs because they're the only ones patient enough to hang out there for eternity."

"I've met centaurs!" Niall says, happy to know something for once. "They're alright."

"Yeah," Liam says, "but they still probably won't let us through."

"Also," Zayn says, "I feel like someone should mention the whole _giant caves of rock imprisoning a snake-haired sorceress_ again. In case we missed it the first time."

"It'll be okay," Niall says, patting him on the shoulder. "Liam seems to know a lot about this stuff. This can be _his_ quest!"

"Oh," Liam says dryly. "Good for me."

 

+

 

The Mines of Medusa are to the West and the roads are a little bumpier than before; Niall's really getting into this adventure lark though so he doesn't mind.

"So," Louis says, resting his arms against the mane of his horse and staring up at Niall, "you know stuff about us, you should tell us something about you."

Niall purses his lips in thought. "There's not much to say," he says, "I'm a princess. Princesses don't do much."

"Sure they do," Louis says, "I heard about a princess once who knew there was a pea in her bed even under a hundred mattresses."

"Yeah," Niall says, "that was my cousin Cher. And that was all a total misunderstanding. She just didn't want to eat her vegetables."

Louis nods. "Okay," he says, "how about the princess who kissed a frog and turned it back into a prince?"

"That was Katie in the East and it wasn't an _actual_ frog, people just didn't approve of her French boyfriend."

"Right," Louis says, "uh, the princess who pricked her finger on a magic spinning wheel and was put into an enchanted sleep only to be woken by true love's kiss?”

Niall rolls his eyes. "That's a _Disney_ story."

Louis grins. "Worth a shot."

 

+

 

It takes them four days to reach the Mines of Medusa which would probably suck except Louis keeps making up hilarious stories about princesses, always making sure to mention that they're not as pretty as Niall which Niall totally appreciates and only blushes about a _little_.

"We're here," Matt announces eventually, staring up at a giant cliff face. To be fair, this place is totally as creepy as the name suggested it'd be.

"Right," Niall says after a moment. "So, the unicorn wants us to get a precious stone. Apparently it's blood red."

"Because _that's_ not ominous," Zayn mutters.

"I am _not_ going in there alone," Liam says, crossing his arms.

"But it's your quest," Niall points out. "Unless you don't _want_ to be my suitor."

Liam purses his lips and doesn't say anything for a moment.

"You are really good at emotional blackmail," he says eventually, and Niall grins.

"I know," he says, "thank you."

"I'm still not going in alone," Liam says, "but I'll take Matt and Aiden. They're knights. They're supposed to be good at quests."

"Uh," Matt says, "where does it say that?"

"I'm sure there's a rule book somewhere," Liam says, "and besides, knights are brave, right?"

"Sure?" Aiden says uncertainly, reaching for Matt's hand.

"Blood red stone, right?" Liam says, looking at Niall, and Niall nods.

"Yeah," he says, and then: "good luck!"

 

+

 

Waiting for Liam, Matt and Aiden to return is _horrible_ and Niall's starting to rethink this whole quest thing completely.

"They're okay, right?" Louis says for the tenth time. "I mean, they'll be fine?"

"Sure," Zayn says, "uh huh, I'm sure they're right as rain and all that."

"Do you think Liam knows we love him?" Harry says nervously, and Louis nods.

"Yeah," he says, "maybe. No. Oh shit, what if he doesn't?"

"I'm _so sorry_ ," Niall says, "this is all my fault!"

"No it's not," Harry says, patting his leg gently.

"Yes it is," Zayn says.

The moon's high in the sky by the time there's any sign of life from the caves and even then it's not the guys.

"Hello," a centaur says, voice low and deep.

"Hi," they say, scrabbling to stand up.

"What are you chaps doing out here then? And with a princess no less?"

"Nothing," Niall says hurriedly. "Nada. Just chillin'."

"I see," the centaur says. "So you're not waiting for those fellows trying to steal the Ruby Diamond then?"

Niall feels his insides run cold.

"Um," he says as Harry lets out a noise that sounds suspiciously like a squeak and Louis drops his flask.

"Oh, don't look like that," the centaur says. "We're hardly going to have _harmed_ them. And besides, the youngest one knows a startling amount about our culture. It's rather refreshing."

"Thank God for Liam," Louis whispers as they follow the centaur down a small, hidden path and into a shallow opening that's flooded with light.

"You look surprised," the centaur says. "What, did you think we spent our lives standing to attention in the cold? We're not _animals_."

Niall's about to reply with something placating when he notices Liam, Matt and Aiden sitting around a small table with another centaur, drinking from steaming mugs, crumb-filled plates in front of them.

"Hang on," Zayn says, "have you guys been in here all this time while we've been out there thinking you might be _dead?_ "

"Uh," Aiden says, "sorry? But, you know, _cake_."

"If it's any consolation, I got the stone," Liam says, and he doesn't look nearly as guilty as the situation requires. Niall's ready to tell him as much but then Liam's holding out another stone, deep black and shiny. "I thought you might like it," he says, "you could have it made into a ring or something."

"Oh," Niall says, staring at the stone with wide eyes. "Thank you." Liam shrugs but Niall can see his grin even as he tries to hide it behind his hand.

"Another quest down then," Matt says. "Now you just need to come up with something for Louis."

"Thanks for reminding him," Louis says, punching Matt in the arm.

"I don't think I'm very good at this though," Niall says. "I mean, I kind of thought I might have got you guys killed. And that would _suck_."

"Also," Zayn says, helping himself to a slice of cake, "no one should let Niall - sorry, _Princess Niall_ \- have this much power. Ever. It can only lead to destruction and anger and possible male pregnancy. And no, thank God, I am _not_ speaking from experience. Mostly. The destruction and anger's pretty much a given."

"Hmm," the centaur says, looking thoughtful. "You need a task you say?"

"Yeah," Louis says, "well, kind of. Maybe just a small one?"

"Oy," Liam says, "I had to scour the Mines of Medusa!"

"Yes," Louis says, "but all Harry had to do was be a virgin and that was just coincidental."

"We could present you with a quest," the centaur interrupts, and Niall looks up.

"Oh?"

"Yes. My sister lives to the East and she has the recipe for the most incredible Apple Pie. If you could fetch it for me then I would be most grateful."

Louis grins. "Yeah," he says, "if that's alright with the princess I'm up for it."

 

+

 

"I can't believe you have to get a _recipe_ ," Liam scoffs as they're riding East. "I risked my life and you're on a domestic mission concerning _pie_."

"Don't be jealous," Louis grins. "I'm sure they'll let you have a slice."

"So," Harry says, turning to Niall, "after this we're heading back, right?"

"Sure," Niall says, "I guess."

He hasn't really thought about what might happen _after_ the adventure and the idea of being back at the castle surrounded by _people_ is startlingly, well, _not nice._

"Oh," he says suddenly, "you all have homes!"

Harry nods but he doesn't seem annoyed that Niall's only realising that _now_.

"Yeah," he says, "but, well-"

"What?" Niall asks.

"They're so far apart," Harry says quietly, and Niall can't help but reach out and squeeze his hand.

"I'll miss you guys," Niall says quietly and Harry looks up in surprise.

"Oh," he says, "so you don't plan to keep any of us then?"

Niall opens his mouth and then shuts it again before saying: "I think maybe you were never mine to keep in the first place."

Harry watches him carefully for a moment. "Don't tell Louis that," he says eventually, "or he'll never get that recipe."

 

+

 

The centaur's sister is lovely and feeds them all twelve kinds of pudding and so much tea they're fit to burst, and doesn't even blink when Louis asks her for her apple pie recipe.

"Oh, of course dear," she says, "here we go. Now, you tell that brother of mine to look after himself, okay?"

"Will do, ma'am," Louis says with a cheeky grin as she pats him on the cheek.

"Such good boys," she coos. "And such a charming princess. You all look out for each other now."

"I still think that was unfair," Liam says, "she called you 'sweetheart' and offered to knit you a new scarf. That was not a quest."

"Don't be bitter I'm so loveable," Louis says, "I promise you're still first in my heart and all that."

"I guess we head back now, huh?" Aiden says, and he looks just as upset by the idea as Niall feels.

"I guess," Niall agrees. "My family's probably worried."

"Yeah," Matt says, "and I'm pretty sure there's a war somewhere I'm meant to be fighting."

"Well," Niall says, "it'll still take us a while to get these things to the right places. I suppose we should make a start."

They're half way down the road when Zayn says: "Niall, you did _tell_ your family you were coming right? Right? Niall? _Niall?_ "

 

+

 

The centaur is ecstatic with the recipe and refuses to let them leave until he's baked a pie for their journey, and the unicorn is startled that they actually met his request, handing over the dragon's belongings in a shimmering silver bag without complaint.

Niall still doesn't get to meet a whore but he doesn't really mind anymore.

They take their time heading back to the dragon, pulling over for too many stops and keeping the horses at a slow walk, and even though none of them say it aloud, Niall thinks they're all as loathe to return as he is. Eventually they can't loiter anymore and they find the dragon where they left him, stretched out in the sun.

"Oh," he says as they appear, "welcome back!"

"We have your thing," Niall says tiredly, and Harry passes him the silver bag.

"Wonderful!" the dragon says. "I didn't think you'd manage it, if I'm honest. Sorry."

"S'ok," Harry says, leaning his head on Liam's shoulder and yawning.

"Homeward bound then, is it?" the dragon asks, and Niall nods.

"I guess so."

"Well," the dragon says, "look after each other and all that."

"Yeah," Niall says, "cheers."

The last little stretch seems to take no time at all and soon the turrets of Niall's home can be seen in the distance; he wonders if he's been missed - he imagines they probably just think he's gotten lost playing hide and seek again; no one lets him live that down and he was only _six_ so it totally doesn't count - and then realises he doesn't care.

Walking back through town is familiar and boring and Niall waves when people notice him but mostly keeps his eyes fixed on the ground, lost in his own head. He thinks it's unfair that the bag should give him three boys to love who he can't really have especially when they can't really have each other either, and he almost thinks _I wish I'd never been given the stupid bag in the first place_ before he shuts it down because it's completely untrue. He wouldn't actually change anything, even if he _is_ about to be sad and alone and heartbroken.

The palace doors are too big and too intimidating and too much like home and Niall glares at them for a moment before turning to the others.

"So," Matt says after a minute. "This has been fun guys."

"Yeah," Aiden says sadly, "it's been great."

They share a look and then wander off towards the barracks; Niall wonders if he'll see them again. He hopes so. They may be pretty rubbish as far as knights go but he likes them anyway.

"I'm going to go make sure no one burned down the stables," Zayn says, looking between the four of them. "Later, guys."

Niall kind of wants to reach out crying _don't go!_ but Zayn gives him the _look_ , the one that says _do I have to remind you that you're an adult again?_ and so Niall just bites his lip and stands their awkwardly.

"Well," Louis says, "this has most definitely been an adventure."

" _Pie_ ," Liam says again, and Louis laughs, jabbing him in the ribs with his elbow.

"Where are you guys heading now?" Niall asks because he feels he should at least know that much.

"North," Louis says.

"South," Harry says.

"West," Liam says.

"Oh," Niall says, "right." He doesn't know what else there is to say; he wants to ask them to stay, to convince them that he could totally find them jobs here that are worth leaving their families for, only that's selfish and he may be a lot of things but he's not _that_ kind of princess. "Bye, I guess," he says eventually, not looking at them.

"Yeah," Liam says quietly, "bye."

It's only when he's back in his room that Niall thinks that maybe Zayn's been right all along. Maybe he _is_ an idiot.

 

+

 

"Please, _please_ tell me you're just down here grabbing food to take upstairs to where - and I can't believe I'm saying this sentence aloud - there are three guys still asleep in your bed," Zayn says when Niall finally trudges down to breakfast the next morning.

Niall blinks, frowning at his plate.

"Fuck," Zayn says, sighing. "Moron."

"I know," Niall says, "and now they're _gone_ and I didn't even ask them to stay!”

Zayn doesn't say anything else, just sits down next to him, knocking their shoulders together, and that says more than anything else.

" _I am such a fucking idiot._ "

"Is that news?" Matt asks, and Niall looks up in surprise.

"Hi!" he says, then: "Uh, aren't you supposed to be gone?"

"Yeah," Aiden says, appearing from behind Matt, "but we changed our minds. Are you looking for a pair of knights by any chance?"

"Sure," Niall says, and then: "well, no, not really but I can still make it happen."

"Cheers," Matt says, "we could use the money for the wedding."

"...Wedding?" Zayn says, quirking an eyebrow and Aiden buries his grin in Matt's shoulder.

"We're getting married," Matt says cheerfully. "We figured it was a better idea than being miserable and alone and all that. And, you know, we're in love etcetera."

"Matt and Aiden are smarter than you," Zayn says, turning to face Niall. "That says quite a bit, huh?"

Niall sits still for a minute and then jumps out of his seat, running for the door.

"Congratulations!" he calls back over his shoulder and he can just about hear Aiden's amused "thank you" as he races through the halls.

 

+

 

Niall's kind of prepared to travel the entire country in search of Liam, Louis and Harry. In reality he only has to go as far as the green at the edge of town.

"Oh," he says, breathless, "hi."

"Hey," Louis says sheepishly, "we were, uh, just-"

"Don't go," Niall says, and Harry looks up in surprise.

"What?"

"Don't go! Stay. All of you. The quest thing was stupid - I mean, it _wasn't_ , it was awesome, but the whole 'choosing only one of you' thing was stupid. Really, really stupid. Um."

"You want all of us?" Liam says, frowning, but he sounds pleasantly confused.

"Yes," Niall says, "and you all want each other so it works out perfectly!" He takes a breath and suddenly feels nervous. "Unless you don't want me."

"Don't be stupid," Harry says, eyes glittering happily, and Niall can't help but smile. "Do you really think we would have gone through all that if we _didn't_ want you?"

Niall hasn't thought of it like that and now he has he's _ecstatic_.

"We should get married," he says. "Matt and Aiden are. I'm pretty sure it's an awesome idea. You guys can live in the castle then and everything."

"Okay," Harry says cheerfully.

"Are you sure?" Liam says sensibly. "I mean, this isn't a small deal."

"I'm sure," Niall says, "so sure. If you are."

"Definitely," Louis says, laughing. "And besides, I'm pretty sure we have bigger issues than marriage to deal with."

Liam raises a questioning eyebrow.

"Well," Louis says, "first things first we absolutely have to deal with the pesky little problem of Harry and Niall's virginity..."


End file.
